Today I’m going to talk about a few things, one of them is statistics of human trafficking and the other is how I start therapy tomorrow and I’m nervous!
Statistically Less than 1% of human trafficking survivors are ever rescued. That number always hits me hard, because I think of all those still being trafficked. I’m grateful that I am part of the less than 1% that have been rescued, but I’m torn apart that it’s not even a full one percent. LESS than 1% of human trafficking victims are ever rescued. Every day I wake up and am still alive, that is me fighting for them. When I speak of my experiences and help to raise awareness that is me fighting for them. Everyday I hug my children that is me fighting for them. It’s my way of saying surviving is possible, healing is possible. I wouldn’t say I’m thriving yet, but I heal a little everyday.
I used to work at a retail store and I had to be on the register sometimes. There were days I could not do it because it was to triggering, I would have to step off the floor and I would break down crying. Why is that a trigger you ask? It is because it dealt with money, while my trafficker didn’t sell me for money he sold me for drugs and shelter among other things. Being on the register reminded me that my body had been currency, I was money. So, that used to be a huge trigger, but now, I can go on a register and not be triggered.
So, I used to have a therapist, but I didn’t feel like she was helping, I think I kind of shut down because of a comment she made, so I stopped seeing her. Due to that I’ve been ignoring my trauma for the most part which I know isn’t going to help me heal in the long run, so I found another place and was put on a waitlist. After waiting a few weeks I got a call back and have scheduled the initial appointment for tomorrow morning, I’m nervous. I don’t even know if she’s worked with trafficking survivors before, so we shall see how that goes. She seemed nice on the phone.
Also, I had another blog that I used a pseudonym on as Pearl. My other blog has the same name but I got a new phone and thought I had the information saved somewhere else but apparently didn’t so if by chance you come across it and it sounds the same that’s why, I’m going to be posting my poems I posted on that one soon here I think. It was here https://beautyfromashes1118.wordpress.com/ I think I might try to remember my password again so I can shut it down or maybe somehow merge them??
Thank you for reading,
Don’t forget to Shine!
Never let them win!