I had my first therapy session Monday. My therapist seems really nice, she gave me homework to make a timeline of my life. There was the 10 years I was trafficked and I just put ten years of trafficking through personal sexual servitude and being sold to others. I’ll make another post explaining personal sexual servitude… it’s essentially being someone’s “sex slave” because they have control over your basic necessities. There was so much that happened in those ten years. There’s some things I can’t even think about without going to a place where I want to hurt myself, but I won’t, just so you know, that would be letting them win and I’ll never let them win.
My therapist said she comes from a place of strength meaning what I had to do to survive was what I had to do to survive. I’m not sure what to think about that. I took the ptsd question test and actually scored higher than I thought I would, I guess I’m not doing as well as I thought. ☹️ My therapist said since we are talking about it my symptoms might increase before they get better, which doesn’t sound fun.
On the bright side my best friend and I are starting a book club! (It’s just the two of us lol) this month we are reading “Lore”, it sounds like it will be good and I’m excited to start it!
Thank you for reading my thoughts, it means a lot knowing someone is listening.
Don’t forget to shine! Never let them win!
~T
Beauty From Ashes 
That’s seriously intense, and I’m so sorry that happened to you. It makes sense that you’re experiencing these emotions and ptsd symptoms. That’s a lot for a person to work through! I’m happy you’re receiving care from a therapist you seem to like. It takes a lot of courage to face the memories so many prefer to run from, but that’s the only path to healing. I’m proud of you!
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Thank you, it’s hard. It seems like I have a lot I want to talk to her about and it’s actually hard to wait until Monday now that I know I have a safe place to share, but at the same time I’m scared to share as well, it’s a catch 22 sometimes.
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I totally understand that. I’m an intuitive life coach and use the Marco Polo video walkie-talkie app to communicate with clients. They can message me any time they feel the need, and I respond during set hours.
Another great thing about Marco Polo is, that when you send the message, you’re watching yourself recording on the screen. It’s almost like mirror talk in that you’re having a one-on-one with yourself, and then you get feedback, guidance, and next steps.
Technology 💖
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That is a great idea!
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I’m happy to hear you are starting therapy (and also about the book club!)
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