It’s been awhile….

Hello everyone,

I know I haven’t written in a little bit, sorry. Things have been hectic. I just got out of quarantine from Covid. That was really triggering because I had to stay in the basement away from the rest of my family and I couldn’t leave. I’m still really tired, but glad I’m out of quarantine.

I know a lot of people don’t know how to talk to those that have been hurt by any sort of abuse and maybe they don’t want to bring up the past. However, trust me the survivors haven’t forgotten about it, if you ask them if they want to talk about it and they say no that’s fine, but at least you asked. You showed that you cared.

When I finally escaped my trafficker after ten years, no one in my family asked how I was or asked if I wanted to talk about it. I had to reach out to them! They didn’t reach out to me except maybe a few. I’m sure they had their reasons, but it made it seem like they didn’t care that I was gone, that I don’t matter. I still feel this way and it’s been almost three years since my escape. It’s hard to think no one cares, I know they do, but my depression and cptsd tend to make me think otherwise, plus it’s something my trafficker would tell me all the time. No one’s looking for you, no one cares about you. No one misses you. I could make you disappear and no one would know or care. So it’s hard, I know communication is a two way street, but I was the one that was abducted and trafficked, I was the one gone for ten years.

I’ve said this before but I think it needs saying again, once you get out of any abusive situation that isn’t the end, it’s just the beginning. Healing is the hardest part because you have to face everything you’ve been through instead of just being in survival mode and shutting yourself down to get through.

One of the hardest things for me, is when the enormity of everything I’ve been through hits me. I’m a survivor of human trafficking, less than one percent of those trafficked get out of their situation, I’m extremely lucky to be alive…. I should be dead. All the people I’ve been raped by and sold to…. It’s a lot. All the abuse…. The whippings, the beatings, the mental and emotional abuse, just everything, it’s a lot.

If you know anyone whose been abused, ask them if they want to talk about it, tell them you’re there if they want to and keep reminding them, keep supporting them, even if it seems like they are okay. They need it.

Thank you for reading. Don’t forget to shine! Never let them win! Always look for the light!